These Tops are Tired of Feeling Used for Sex


Has the power dynamics shifted from tops to bottoms?

Has the power dynamics shifted from tops to bottoms? Power bottoms? Are tops really just fed up with “Drill, baby, drill”? Freelance journalist Bobby Box explores this theme for NewNowNext.

“In many of the U.S. cities I’ve traveled in, there seem to be more bottoms and vers bottoms than there are tops and vers tops,” Court Vox, a sex and intimacy coach, tells NewNowNext. “This proposes an interesting ‘hunting’ dynamic because bottoms, out of necessity, become the pursuer, and tops the pursued.”

“There are certain bottoms that I learn, once I slide in, that I’m not the first guy fucking them that evening,” Venny, 31, confesses. “There’s been this change where bottoms have reclaimed ‘power,’ and now they’re out here just taking loads from tops.” Venny refers to this aggressive group as “load-me-up” bottoms. “They literally don’t even want you; they want the dick and the cum.”

Steven, 34, argues that well-endowed men have it the worst, and compares taking his big dick to conquering Everest. “After you’ve been fetishized, they either get scared and back out, or they get what they want and add you to their list of achievements,” he says. “Once they’re fucked, filled, and drained, they’re done with you. You get a shower if you’re lucky or otherwise it’s, ‘Bye!’ And good luck trying to meet up again.”

While the article drew some “Cry Me a River” type comments for tops complaining about their big dicks, one commenter was more balanced: “We need to realize that we are all humans and have feelings and not just needs. There could be an amazing person behind the sexual encounter if we open our minds to see.”


View the full article:


Featured image by Zoriana Zaitseva | Shutterstock


Freelance writer and certified sex educator, sex columnist for Grindr, contributing editor for Daily Beast, Playboy, Askmen, Elle, NewNowNext, The Advocate, and more