10 Tips for Being a Great Top and to Rock a Bottom Out!

In addition to some obvious tips such as #7, Don’t be a Jackrabbit, Men’s Variety explores being a great top through the lens of psychology that is rarely discussed— the focus specifically borrows from the school of mindfulness.

“You may be wondering what that term – mindfulness – means? Well, mindfulness is nothing more than a state of awareness that focuses your total span of awareness on the here and now. Tracing its roots back to ancient Buddhism, mindfulness teaches people how to live in the moment and be one with their environment.”

The material comes “from readers who identify as bottoms, combined with wisdom from tops who actively engage in mindful based sex.”

Ready for some examples?

• Anchor with Deep, Synced Breathing: Mindful tops pay attention to the cadence of their partner’s breath. Matching inhales and exhales grounds the encounter in real time, lowers the bottom’s physical tension, and tells you exactly when their pelvic floor is ready for entry.

• Ditch the Performance Checklist: Getting stuck in your head about staying rock-hard, lasting a marathon, or hitting a porn-scripted finale kills intimacy. Shifting focus from “performance metrics” to the actual physical sensations in the room keeps you grounded and present.

• Tune In to Non-Verbal Micro-Signals: Great tops don’t wait for a verbal “ouch” or a safe word to adjust. They constantly read the subtleties—the micro-twitches of the hips, changes in muscle resistance, or a slight arch of the back—and dial back the pace before discomfort sets in.

• Turn Foreplay into an Attunement Ritual: Rushing the warm-up treats prep like a chore rather than part of the main event. Slow, deliberate physical touch, massage, and eye contact build the trust necessary for a bottom to surrender control completely.

Sex is as much about head space and mutual presence as it is about physical technique. If you want to elevate your game in the bedroom—whether you’re looking to become a more dialed-in top or want to guide your partner toward a deeper connection—make sure to check out the entire article on Men’s Variety for all the tips and reader insights!

The BB Team also uncovered the article’s companion piece “How to Ride a Guy for Gay Men: 12 Anal Master Tips!”

View the full article:

Featured image by Zdorov Kirill Vladimirovich | Shutterstock

Wednesday October 13, 2021