14 Simple Tips for New Bottoms

If you are a newbie and never bottomed before, this guide by Pride is one of the best simple readings out there. “Bottom Basics 101” has other article links that plunge deeper, but this is a great place to start.

Even the BB Team probably would’ve missed one or two of these tips if we were putting a guide together ourselves. Luckily writer Zachary Zane is the expert! He’s updated his list from a few years ago, and increased it from 10 to 14.

BOTTOM EXPECTATIONS

If you’re new to being on the receiving end of anal sex, the good news is, it only hurts if you don’t know what you’re doing.

On the flip side, if you’ve never done it before, it’s likely that you have no idea what’s going on down there. Being penetrated is a completely new bodily sensation that takes time and practice.

If you’re new to anal sex, let me be honest with you: Bottoming can hurt.

BOTTOM TIPS

Zane provides “14 tips that are sure to help you find all the joys bottoming can give.” Some are practical, common sense tips we wouldn’t think of. Other tips provide a better understanding of what’s going on. Here are a few of the best:

Cut Your Fingernails

Are they cut now? Good. Now cut them shorter and file the jagged edges. You will want finger yourself to loosen up, and long nails could scratch you. Your nails can’t be too short.”

Fight the Urge to Clench

Your natural response will be to clench. You need to fight this urge, but you don’t need to push out either; you just need to relax. Your body will naturally loosen up with repeated penetration.

It Can Feel Like You’re Pooping

The only other experience you’ve had with your anus thus far in life is pooping. So it’s no surprise that, in the beginning, it often feels like you’re pooping (which is also why you feel a natural urge to clench). The association with pooping will go away with repeated experience.

Find An Understanding Top

If you’ve never bottomed before, it can be intimidating. Some men may take advantage of you, and others may fantasize over being your first. Regardless, you should feel comfortable during your experimentation. If you’re not ready for the real deal, keep practicing until you are. Otherwise, find a top who actually knows how to communicate and let it grow from there (no pun intended.)

Don’t Skip the Solo Practice

Before you invite a partner into the mix, get familiar with your own anatomy. Using clean fingers or a small, smooth beginner toy allows you to understand your internal layout, identify tension points, and learn what actual relaxation feels like without the pressure of performing for someone else.

Lube Is Not Optional (And More Is Always Better)

When you think you’ve applied enough lube, add more. Friction is the single quickest way to turn pleasure into discomfort. Opt for high-quality silicone or thick water-based formulas, reapply generously throughout the session, and make sure both you and your partner are thoroughly slicked before anything moves forward.

Lead the Insertion Yourself

Never let a partner force the pace. Starting on top (or guiding their hips with your hands) gives you 100% control over the initial angle, depth, and speed. Take your time lowering yourself down steadily until your pelvic floor adjusts to the sensation.

Use Deep, Steady Breathing to Unlock the Pelvic Floor

When you tense up, your breath is usually the first thing that locks. Consciously taking slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths signals your nervous system to disarm its natural resistance, allowing the sphincter and pelvic floor muscles to soften naturally around penetration.

Cleanliness Is About Routine, Not Stress

Accidents happen, but basic prep eliminates 95% of the anxiety. A high-fiber diet, a consistent bathroom schedule, and a simple, gentle water rinse beforehand are all it takes to build complete confidence. Avoid aggressive over-douching, which can irritate sensitive internal tissue.

Explore Different Angles and Positions

Missionary, riding, and spooning each hit internal pleasure zones and the prostate from entirely different angles. If a position feels tight, awkward, or uncomfortable, don’t push through it—simply switch angles until you find the sweet spot that clicks.

The Prostate Is Your Center of Gravity

Anal pleasure isn’t just about friction; it’s about stimulating the prostate gland (located a couple of inches in toward your front/belly button). Finding rhythmic, angled pressure against this nerve center is what turns routine bottoming into intense, full-body euphoria.

Communicate Openly in Real Time

Mind reading doesn’t work in the bedroom. Let your partner know exactly what feels great and what needs adjusting immediately—whether that’s asking for more lube, slowing the pace down, or shifting angles. An attentive top will always appreciate clear direction.

Post-Play Recovery Matters

After a solid session, give your body time to reset. Drink plenty of water to rehydrate, consider a warm shower or bath to relax the pelvic floor, and steer clear of harsh soaps internally. A little post-care ensures you’re ready and comfortable for the next round.