I'm more than just a pole.
The New Zealand AIDS Foundation polled tops in Aotearoa to find out what they want bottoms to know, and look at their #1 tip: “Not all tops have penises! Some front-hole owners are tops too. Topping can be penetrative or non-penetrative. Not all trans folk and front-hole owners are bottoms and penetration isn’t everyone’s vibe, so be sure not to make assumptions.”
“Some trans folk and front-hole owners are more sexually empowered by their fingers, fists and cocks. Language is so important – don’t assume how trans folk like to refer to their genitals – make sure you are using language that affirms them, reflects their identity and how they like to have sex.”
Also interesting is Tip #6: “We don’t always need to be in control. Power play is a fun way to add excitement during sex. Tops don’t want to be the driver all the time. You should feel empowered to take the wheel during sex and embrace your inner power bottom.”
Read the rest of the tips; bottoms, please remember that “sex is great when there is a connection more than just a pole in a hole.”
The BB Team has also dug up the companion piece, “What Bottoms Want: A Guide for Good Topping.” You’re welcome!