These Gay Men Identify as Bottoms but Hate Anal Sex

Sexy naked muscular man on sofa

Ok, hurry up and finish so this can end

It is a puzzlement. “Can you really be a bottom if you don’t enjoy receptive anal intercourse?” Bobby Box, freelance journalist for NewNowNext, was surprised at the message rate of responses to his query.

“Chris, 23, responded, ‘I find anal sex more painful than enjoyable. I know it’s only supposed to hurt for a bit, but even when it starts to feel good it’s still not satisfying. I find myself thinking: Okay, hurry up and finish so this can end.'”

“Though he doesn’t enjoy receiving anal sex, Chris still identifies as a bottom because he’s submissive, prefers giving oral sex rather than receiving, likes feeling protected, and his sexual fantasies often—if not always—depict him as the receptive partner. ‘It’s that stereotypical big burly guy doing what he wants to me and taking control,’ he explains.”

There are other interesting responders in the same bed or boat, and these bottoms are not alone. Box has found that according to research, only 35 to 40% of gay male sexual encounters include anal intercourse.

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Featured image by Nevskii Dimitrii | Shutterstock

Tuesday October 12, 2021


Freelance writer and certified sex educator, sex columnist for Grindr, contributing editor for Daily Beast, Playboy, Askmen, Elle, NewNowNext, The Advocate, and more

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