Gay, Middle-Aged, and Lonely as Hell

Man alone looking at ocean

Now I go totally unnoticed or am quickly ghosted once I reveal my age

Read on if you feel like the title sometimes. The BB Team thinks a lot of us do. Dan Savage is our favorite sex advice columnist. His Savage Love internationally syndicated column, appearing this time via Chicago Reader, regards a trio of late bloomers. He asked for some Savage Love assistance from Michael Hobbs, a Highline contributor and  HuffPost senior enterprise reporter who wrote a mini-book-length piece titled “Together Alone: The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness.

Lonely Aging Gay

I am a gay man in my late 50s and have never been in a relationship. I am so lonely, and the painful emptiness I feel is becoming absolutely unbearable. In my early 20s, I hooked up off and on, but it never developed into anything. I have always told myself that’s OK; I’m not a people person or a relationship kind of guy…I have social anxiety and can’t go to bars or clubs. When hookup apps were introduced, I used them infrequently. Now I go totally unnoticed or am quickly ghosted once I reveal my age.

Alone And Fading

I’m a fortysomething gay male. I’m single and cannot get a date or even a hookup. I’m short, overweight, average looking, and bald. I see others, gay and straight, having long-term relationships, getting engaged, getting married, and it makes me sad and jealous. Some of them are jerks—and if them, why not me?

Unappealing Giant Loser Yearns

I am a 55-year-old gay male. I am hugely overweight and have not had much experience with men. I go on a variety of websites trying to make contact with people. However, if anyone says anything remotely complimentary about me, I panic and run. A compliment about my physical appearance? I shut down the profile. I don’t like being like this. I just believe in being honest.

Find out how Dan Savage and Michael Hobbs replied to LAG, AAF and UGLY.

View the full article:


Featured image by Ian Schneider | Unsplash

Wednesday September 1, 2021


Author, sex advice columnist, podcaster, pundit and public speaker | Savage Love

Get 20% Off   ×