Find out their aversion to bottoming.
In NewNowNext, freelance journalist and contributing editor Bobby Box speaks with “Total Tops” to find out their aversion to bottoming. Is “masculinity’s influence is so strong that it prevents total tops from opening their minds (and bodies) to different sexual experiences”?
“The short answer is yes. According to Kyle Shupe, a doctoral student in Sociology at the University of Cincinnati, who researches queer men’s sexual practices, identities, and communities, total tops are characterized more by their sense of masculinity than their actual sexual position. ‘Oftentimes, topping is used by these men to assert their masculinity in relation to another—in their minds—more effeminate gay men and anyone who bottoms,’ he tells me, explaining men who claim they’re total tops are really saying: ‘I’m gay, and also masculine,’ or the ever-popular, ‘I’m not like those other gays.'”
Box continues probing and comes up with some fascinating quotes and rationales. Note that he recently defended his research and said it was not some “personal vendetta against tops.”
The first man I ever dated identified as a “total top.” He was 20 years my senior, had a reputation for fucking guys in gym showers, and, fittingly, broke up with me because I was keeping him from the gym.