17 Tips for Being a Better Top

Shirtless man putting cherry on cupcake top

There is no one better to ask about topping than a bottom

Looking to be a better top? Breaking in a cherry? While this Advocate article may be a few years old, there are new tops being born every day! Plus most tops want to become better, right?

Sexy Beast writer Alexander Cheves may be a big self-proclaimed bottom, but he knows more than most of us on the topic, “Let me state this at the beginning: I am a bottom. A marathon-sex, Preparation-H, take-dick-like-a-champ bottom. I tend to outlast tops. Ten tops looking for a bottom? No problem. Why, then, am I writing this article? Because there is no one better to ask about topping than a bottom.”

Two men in candlelit tub
Two men in a tub


From his first tip to his 17th, you’ll learn more about being a better top than you ever hoped for. The BB Team highlights a few of them.

Tip #1: Have an anatomy lesson. “A boy butt is so much more than a hole you stick stuff into…Many guys envision the butt as a tight, squishy chute — an organic masturbation sleeve. But the ass is more of a tight, squishy chamber with dimensions and curvatures that vary slightly from man to man. There is a definite curve to it, and the first chamber leads to another chamber, which leads to the small intestine.”

With better detail you than received in junior high sex education class, Cheves describes other critical anatomical parts like the prostate, bladder and one of the strongest muscles in your body, the anal spinchter “that clenches tight for most of our lives and opens and relaxes when we poop and when we take a dick.”

Tip #3 is Alternate your speed. “Many tops simply don’t know how to fuck. They think sex is about sticking their dicks in and pounding like a machine. Unless the guy you are fucking is looking for that kind of sex, he will probably tell you to slow down or stop.”

Another great tip is #4. Get over. your fear of dirty butts. “Do not tell your bottom to clean out well. Saying that will only add to his nervousness about being clean. Unless he has expressed that he’s into shit, it is generally assumed that he will have to clean before you guys play — unless he is one of those mystifying and magical bottoms who knows when his ass is simply ready to go, no cleaning required.”

Tip #7 is Use your tongue. That doesn’t mean licking the same way forever. “When I give a rim job, I make patterns that he can focus on as he gradually relaxes: stars, spirals, zigzags. I also vary up what kind of “tongue stroke” I deliver. Light, quick taps on the hole with the tip of your tongue will deliver one kind of sensation — a quivering, mind-blowing one — while deep, plunging thrusts where you try to stick your tongue in as far as it will go will deliver a very different one.”

These are just a few of the mind-blowing tips to be a better top. There are 17 here, so make sure you click the link and read about them all in Advocate.

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Saturday February 4, 2023

Unlimited Toppings Tank Top
Unlimited Toppings Tank Top
Duo meaning for tops and bottoms! Do you deliver or receive unlimited toppings?! Or both?!
Pocket Daddy T-Shirt
Pocket Daddy T-Shirt
Daddies come in all sizes. From big daddies to pocket daddies. Tops + bottoms. Know a hot pocket daddy? Snatch this!

Beastly writer, editor, copywriter, and illustrator in New York City

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